I am pretty sure I just found the worst movie I have ever seen in my life (PLEASE DO NOT GO AWAY! READ THE REST FOR A GOOD LAUGH AT LEAST). Til Death Do Us Part stars Stephen Bishop, Annie Ilonzeh, Taye Diggs, and Robinne Lee. It tells the story Michael (Bishop) and Madison (Ilonzeh). Their marriage seems perfect until Michael’s haunted past turns their matrimony into a nightmare. With the help of her friend Chelsea (Lee), Madison must escape her abusive husband before it’s too late. This movie is supposed to bring awareness to the tragedies of domestic violence, but unfortunately it delves into the territory of As The Days Of Our Young And Restless Guiding Hospital Turns. It played like it should be the show that everybody on Insecure is watching in Season 3. It took me exactly 2 minutes and 37 seconds (yes I counted) to do my first eye roll/head smack/what in the… moment in the theater (at least I had a recliner).
First of all, the production quality of the movie was ridiculous. I am pretty sure there were more transitions, music, and shots of the Los Angeles and surrounding city skylines than actual dialogue. The editing literally had multiple one second shots of cars. They even had trouble finding a way to shoot a piano scene. I guess the actors couldn’t learn a few notes because they had to shoot the scene from the other side of the piano, blocking the keys and their hands while a tracking record played in the background. Oh, and I am pretty sure they got their “real-life” baby from the local Toys-R-Us (American Sniper thanks you for taking the crown of worst on-screen baby).
Next there’s the plot. Quick question before I continue. Does there need to be a spoiler alert if nobody is really going to watch the movie? Probably not. Ok. At the beginning of the movie, Madison wants a baby and Michael wants none of it. So much so that he takes testosterone shots to avoid it. The movie suggests that he doesn’t want to turn out like his father, who killed himself and his mother. Yet, the second this secret turns into the couple’s first on screen fight, he goes from 0 to 100 quicker than Drake singing Taylor Swift in an Apple Music commercial. He went directly from “I love you” and “you’re the best thing to ever happen to me” to “I AM THE MAN AND YOU RESPECT EVERYTHING I SAY IN THIS HOUSE” in 0.9 seconds. There was no dramatic transformation into Mr. Hyde, he just became the worst human possible overnight.
In order to get away from Michael, Madison used Chelsea’s connections at the hospital they work at to fake her death. Seems logical, right. Unless you decide to move less than 100 miles away. She didn’t even move out of Southern California! Plus, she finances her move by making her friend the beneficiary and getting cash mailed to her. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE IF THERE IS NO DEATH CERTIFICATE!!!! HE FINDS YOU BECAUSE HE HEARS FROM THE HOSPITAL THAT THERE IS NO RECORD OF YOUR DEATH AND DRIVES 2 HOURS AWAY TO GET INFORMATION FROM YOUR NEW CO-WORKER!!!!
Taye Diggs then comes in as the new man who is there to help her rebuild her life and self-esteem by basically playing every role he has ever played (minus one fake Jamaican accent): awkward, smiley, kinda charming, and goofy. He even reached back to his best acting role by getting whooped on worse than when Morris Chesnut almost threw him over a balcony (just playing… somewhat). All the actors seemed to be there just for a paycheck. It’s not like they are bad actors, they just were given nothing to work with. What does one expect when you see who was behind this made-for-TV BET special?
The screenplay was written by Marques Houston. If that name sounds familiar it’s because you know him from You Got Served, Sister Sister, and as the lead singer of B2K. He actually decided to put in dialogue where while the couple is fighting, Michael devolves to middle school taunting. Madison brings up a salient point in a serious argument and Michael repeats what she said in a mocking tone like a 12-year old. Romeo… I mean Batma… I mean Marques, whatever your name is! If you ever decide to single-handedly write a script for a movie again, please call one of the Mowry sisters to yell at you.
Domestic violence is not a joke. It is a serious subject that needs all the light shined upon it so that things as horrible as what is depicted in this movie never ever happen. So I really hope that next time someone wants to make a movie that highlights its horrendous nature they will take it more seriously. Or at least get some help from experienced movie makers. I mean you could have at least called Tyler Perry or something! I wish I had two more hands so I could give the picture 4 Thumbs Down!!! -0.000000/10 fake babies for this one.