Anybody ever watch Where in The World is Carmen Sandiego? The cartoon? The game show (R.I.P. Chief)? Or play the computer game? Or the board game? Ok, stupid question. Of course you did. Who didn’t have the most fun trying piece all the clues together one by one to figure out what she stole or whodunit? Well, Murder On The Orient Express just filled me with the nostalgia of one of my favorite childhood staples. Cue the music in your head!
Kenneth Branagh directs and stars as world-renown detective Hercule Poirot. Fresh off of a case, he is looking for a bit of rest and relaxation on the plush and lavish Orient Express. But when one of the passengers is murdered on a cold and stormy night, Poirot must gather all of his faculties to figure out which of the 13 strangers on the train is the murderer. It’s a race against time and space as the guests must live with the knowledge that one amongst them may kill again. Watching the movie, it felt like a mixture of the Brendan Fraser Mummy and the Tim Curry classic, Clue. Neither of those movies were the most thought-provoking or original films, but dammit were they fun. Murder On The Orient Express grips your attention in the same way and doesn’t let go until the credits roll.
A huge plus of this movie is how stacked the cast is. Between this incredible ensemble (including names like Pfeiffer, Dench, Depp, and Dafoe) there are 4 Oscar nominees and 2 Oscars winners, 5 Golden Globe nominees and 4 winners, 4 Emmy nominees and 2 winners, 3 Tony winners and 1 nominee, 2 Grammy winners, and an international gold medal winning ballet dancer. On top of that, you got Rey from The Force Awakens, Jack Sparrow, Queen Elizabeth, Oloff, one of the Magnificent Seven, and the soon-to-be live action Jafar. This movie is full of talent from top to bottom.
As much as this is an advantage for the movie, it also made Orient Express a little bit of a letdown. Even with all the acting royalty on the screen, none of the supporting characters added depth past pushing the mystery forward. They could have and should have gone deeper than the whodunit they gave us, but it seemed that the actors were fully resigned to commit to that type of throwback. Ultimately, it worked. The devotion to their character tropes puts more focus on the story and tone,and keeps the movie thrilling from beginning to end. Branagh, as director and as Poirot, is the string that pulls it all together. His character is the most well-rounded of the group, and carries the film with way more personality than just a quirky detective. His humor, vulnerability and pure exhaustion at his job was surprising and refreshing. Plus, that’s the best on-screen mustache seen in a long time (even when you can tell it is CGI).
I Didn’t see original film or read Agatha Christie’s book, so my brain was rattling around feverishly trying to figure out who the murderer was. That in itself makes Orient Express successful. There was once or twice where I had solved the mystery correctly while watching, but the intrigue and twists kept changing my mind up until the theory was finally confirmed. Between the star-studded cast, the mustache heard (yes, heard) around the world, and the heart-pounding fun trying to solve the case, Murder On The Orient Express is a entertainingly good time. I give it 7/10 mustache guards.
