If you read my review on Coco, you know that I recently came to the realization that a lot of Pixar movies follow the same plot formula. Usually, when a studio keeps making the same movies people begin to get fatigued with them. Not Pixar. It took me 20 years and 19 movies to even realize their similarities. That is a testament to how great their movies are. Plus, Pixar’s mission in life is to make every single one of their fans cry like a newborn at least 5 times before they leave the theater. Maybe it’s a tactic to make you not catch on to this little secret. Raise your hand if you every told Pixar to F off because they won’t let your eyes stay dry. Anyone? Everyone? Yea. Well, with the recent release of Coco (and a break in movies I actually want to see in theaters), here is my ranking of Pixar’s movies from worst to best.
THE "BOTTOM" OF THE LIST:
#15: Cars, Cars 2 and Cars 3
-Do I really even need to say why they are down here? I didn’t even see 2 and 3, and do you blame me? Nothing else to be said
#14 The Good Dinosaur
-This movie was just kinda creepy. If that’s what overwhelms my thoughts about it, then this is only steps away from being at the bottom (except for the fact that Cars is there, so….. 2nd to last).
#13 Brave
-Ok, so now we are getting into the good movies. Unfortunately, I don’t remember the movie’s plot except that triplets turned into bear cubs and the Merida was basically Hawkeye.
#12 Ratatouille
-This actually made people (some people) ok with a rat in a kitchen. Remy is a great protagonist, the antagonist’s transformation is authentic, and the story is endearing. Yet, I didn’t want to watch it again after first view. Every movie after this has more replay value. Here on out it’s great movie after great movie.
#11 Finding Dory
-A very enjoyable and fulfilling sequel to one of Pixar’s best. It had a lot of hype to live up to, and it just barely missed out on matching the hype. It didn’t fail, or even come close to missing the mark, but it is a very slight step below its monstrous predecessor. Following a masterpiece is a hard thing to do.
THE ACTUAL LIST
MONSTERS UNIVERSITY
-I had a real hard time choosing between this and number 11. Pixar has done an almost perfect job with its sequels. This prequel furthered the friendship established in the original. All of the ancillary characters were memorable (the fraternity momster was the best thing in the entire movie). The university games were exciting and kept me interested in how Mike and Sully would win. Then the end switched it up and made it even better. As I write this, I switched it from number 11 to number 10, remembering how enjoyable this was from the introduction of little Mike Wazowski to the montage connecting University to Incorporated. It is down at number 10 only because it’s a bit predictable and doesn't have the deeper messages that 9-1 have.
Cry Meter: Meh
Screw You, Pixar Moment: The Bullying of Little Mike Wazowski.
A BUG'S LIFE
-For a long time this was my favorite Pixar movie. I don’t know why, but there is something about this movie that just connects. It could be that this was Pixar movie number 2, and it started to show the dominance that this studio could bring. But mostly, it was the first time that Pixar was able to bring together a ragtag group of misfit, fake heroes and made them real heroes. It was the first blooper reel in the Pixar canon, and it was hilarious. It also won the first “same movie but different movie” battle against Antz. For some reason, I also always thought that Christopher Walken played Hopper in the movie, but it was actually…… um, yea let’s just say Walken did play Hopper and leave it that. This is a biased choice at 9 (probably can and should be 11-15), but the nostalgia factor plays a big part in making top 10.
Cry Meter: Not really
Screw You, Pixar Moment: Flik is banished from the colony.
UP
-This is THE Screw You, Pixar Movie. The first 5 minutes are the most unbearably sad, tear-inducing, I hate everything about everything scene in movie history. Not animated movie history, ALL OF MOVIE HISTORY! Then you still have to recover enough to watch the remaining two hours. Luckily, Russell (one more badge) and Dug (SQUIRREL!!!) and Kevin’s (SQUAAAAK, sorry can’t write the noise that she makes lol) outlandish personalities help bring smiles to the audience’s faces. Ok, under all of those smiles those characters had some pretty sad moments. Dammit, Up doesn’t really let up does it? This is so low on the list because the heartstring tugs mask the plot’s slightly thin nature. The villain of the story has a formulaic motivation, so the adventure to stop him dampens the strengths of the movie: its characters, the original love story, and the newly created family. The voice acting of Ed Asner (Carl), Bob Peterson (Dug), Jordan Nagai (Russell) and every other actor made the characters real and created an authentic bond between them. It might have been higher up if the main plot was only the quest to get to Paradise Falls, or at least a better obstacle in the way.
Cry Meter: Mufasa Levels of tears
Screw You, Pixar Moment: The huge I HATE YOU ALL first five minutes of this stupid movie
FINDING NEMO
-The movie that unofficially launched an empire. Yes, Toy Story may be Pixar’s most famous franchise, but there was not as big of a rush to see Pixar films as when Finding Nemo hit theaters. I still don’t even know what created the hype for the movie before it came out. I remember that all of a sudden one day everyone was talking about this movie. It’s justified. There are more quotable moments in this movie than any other. There is so much more than an adventure to find a missing son. There’s the perseverance of family bonds, the strength of the disenfranchised, the truth that family does not have to be blood. It is a masterpiece, and yet it’s number 7. That’s the brilliance of Pixar.
Cry Meter: I’m not crying, you’re crying!!
Screw You, Pixar Moment: Take your pick: The first scene, Dory’s plea, Yelling at Nemo to get up.
INSIDE OUT
-Is it me, or is this the most forgotten about great Pixar film. It has greatness at all levels: inside Riley’s head, outside of it, and in the depths of her forgotten memories. Everywhere. Outside of her head, there is a great family drama that connects to the fears and anxieties of parents and children. Inside of her head, there is a mix of humor and sentiment that separates emotion into individual beings, yet makes singular emotions have depth of character. In the depths of her memories, there is a feeling of loss and longing for the childhood that you once had but probably have forgotten. This movie brings out every emotion as you watch them. Sadness somehow is sad but funny but honest but joyful. It tells us that every emotion is necessary and needed. That is always true no matter what age you may be.
Cry Meter: Someone cutting some onions somewhere???!!!!!
Screw You, Pixar Moment: Two words. Bing. Bong.
MONSTERS, INC.
-At age 12, this was the first movie I chose to go see by myself. It has a special place in my heart because I went out on a limb and it took me on a great adventure. It started the “humans are the real threat” trend for monster films (CODE 2319!!!!). Crystal and Goodman are hilarious. Buscemi is creepy goodness. It is the essential friendship movie. When your best friend is doing something good, bad, stupid, whatever, you gotta be there for them. Mike and Sully show what it’s really like to be best friends because of the honesty they show each other no matter what. Plus, the kid in the movie isn’t annoying (even animated kids can be annoying in film). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry (of course), your heart will race. Monsters, Inc. has everything.
Cry Meter: YES I’M CRYING, SHUT UP!!!!
Screw You, Pixar Moment: Boo and Kitty should never be separated. EVER! Fix that damn door NOW!
COCO
-You can look up my full ruview on the home page, so you know how I feel about this movie. It’s been one month and I am already confident in putting it top 4. The culture, the family, the music, the visuals, the dog, the EVERYTHING. This movie is just great. Go read the actual review. GO NOW, then come back.
Welcome back :)
Cry Meter: Well, everyone else is crying too…
Screw You, Pixar Moment: Up had the first 5 minutes, this has the entire last 30.
WALL-E
-When you can make people fall in love with a movie without any real dialogue for the first hour to hour and a half, you have done something special. Even more so when you can make an audience connect with characters that aren’t actual living things. The animators for WALL-E need to get the first and greatest praise for how they can make personified objects more human than some of the people you know. Then comes the sound mixers, sound editors, and voice actors that make those characters speak with almost no words. Then, when we do get humans and dialogue, they build upon the story instead of taking away from what was already established (Thanks Jeff Garlin and Fred Willard). I’m pretty sure if the screenwriters didn’t give WALL-E and EVE a happy ending, there would be riots i.n the street. Kudos to WALL-E and its greatness
Cry Meter: You doing this to me TWICE??? C’MON MAN!!!
Screw You, Pixar Moment: Moments. Plural. How can you cry when robots don’t wake up??
TOY STORY 3, TOY STORY 2, TOY STORY (IN BEST TO LESS BEST ORDER)
-These movies are just unfair. I haven’t seen another trilogy that just gets better and better with every entry (I know, blasphemy, LOTR right?). Toy Story started everything. Toy Story 2 added more characters and created more heart. Toy Story 3 then told every other animated film (Pixar or not) to sit the HELL DOWN. I couldn’t put them separately or they would be 2, 3 and 4. So, the entire franchise takes the #2 spot. No matter which movie you watch, it resonates with all ages, at all times. I remember watching this in the theater at 6-years old! I remember walking into a Chicago theater for “2” at age 10. It’s been 23 damn years and remember my first viewings like it was yesterday. You got a 1-year-old? In 20 years, they are going to watch Toy Story and know every single word
Cry Meter: Just come into the theater with tissue. 2 boxes
Screw You, Pixar Moment: Jessie’s story, Andy passes the torch to Bonnie, A particular furnace
THE INCREDIBLES
-FINALLY DAMMIT. 3 CARS MOVIES, ANOTHER FISH MOVIE, AND 14 YEARS!!!! C’MON PIXAR!!!! This is all we have wanted. We didn’t want anything else! What took you so damn long!!!! The Incredibles is the BEST Pixar movie. The look into a super family’s struggle with everyday life. They have marriage troubles, mid-life crises, and sibling rivalries. The reality of what superheroes really do to society. A villain that actually understands that monologuing is THE DUMBEST THING (he didn’t get the no cape memo though). Samuel L. Jackson being Samuel L. (TELL ME WHERE MY SUIT IS WOMAN).
AND EDNA. MODE.
The Incredibles is the perfect combination of action, humor, family dynamics, heart, and the things that you secretly ask about every single superhero movie. IT IS PERFECT. Can’t wait to see what Jack Jack can do.
Cry Meter: Thank the Goodness, My Eyes are Dry!!
Screw You, Pixar Moment: 14 HOT DAMN YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would be remised if I didn’t end this by giving a shout out to the man…. JOHN RATZENBERGER (the cover photo is every one of his characters up through Good Dinosaur)