Within the first 5 minutes of Den of Thieves, there had to have been anywhere from 200 to 250 bullets fired. From then on out, each subsequent scene became manlier and machoer and masculine…er. Yet somehow, the more manly the movie became the less bullets that were fired. For a gritty crime drama touting a storyline that would lend itself to shootouts upon shootouts, it is a bit of a conundrum.
Den of Thieves opens with the little-known fact that Los Angeles is the “bank robbery capitol of the world”. It brings the audience into a battle between a military-based heist crew and the “no rules apply” LA Sheriff Department that is tasked with stopping them. Gerard Butler leads the elite police unit against Pablo Schreiber (“Pornstash” from Orange is the New Black) and the state’s most successful thieves as they attempt to rob the un-robbable.
The trailers for the film cut together what looked like an intense, heart-pounding game of cat-and-mouse. It’s men fighting men, doing manly things, as they say manly stuff. Take Cheddar Bob From 8 Mile, one of the dudes from S.W.A.T. not named LL, Samuel, or Colin, every working Samoan in Los Angeles, 50 Cent from… life, and O’Shea Jackson Jr, pit them against each other, and you got yourself the perfect end of January/beginning of February action movie to pass the time until Black Panther. Except, they didn’t. This movie is the most boring action packed crime drama I have ever scene.
After a great opening shootout, the movie waits a whole hour and a half before they have another one. Crime dramas don’t necessarily have to have a million bullets to be exhilarating, but they need tension. Half of the movie has absolutely none. They fill the script with more cliché tough guy lines than the three Expendables movies combined. Gerard Butler looks and sounds like how he probably smells in real life: a mixture of whiskey, cigarettes, and strip clubs at 2 AM. This completely disconnects the audience from his character. There is a story arc they give Butler that tries to make him more well-rounded, but every time this subplot comes on you just don’t give a damn. The movie is 2 hours and 20 minutes, and this arc is a good 30 minutes that could have been completely cut out. Butler’s half of the movie is a tedious struggle as you wait for his world to get off the screen.
This tedium is made more apparent when juxtaposed to the other half of the movie. The work of Schreiber and Jackson showed that there was a smart movie in there somewhere. Ice Cube Jr’s work demonstrates his potential to become not just a good actor, but a great one. He and Schreiber are the two characters that connect with the audience because they showcase their intelligence more than their machismo. The greatest parts of this movie were the mind games Schreiber played against Butler throughout the film. Most scenes with the two of them together had no dialogue and palpable hostility. These led into an intense final sequence that moved from a quietly powerful heist to a nerve-wracking, bullet-riddled standoff. If the first hour and 40 minutes mirrored the last 30, this would have been a surprisingly decent movie. The strong finale is then capped with an ending that further exhibited the untapped potential of the rest of the film.
Den of Thieves had the potential to be a surprise hit. There were hints of drama, intensity, and intelligence that were unfortunately overshadowed by the hulking masculinity of B-list action movies. It ended way stronger than it started, but the full overused tropes and the 30 minutes of story that the audience could care less for were too much to overcome. These downfalls made the enjoyable parts of the movie more frustrating because you ask “where the hell was this in that first hour when I almost fell asleep!?” Den of Thieves started out receiving a 5/10, but the ending raised it to 5.75/10 slaps to the face (because I swear there were more instances of men slapping each other than there were bullets shot in this movie).
P.S. There is one scene that is reminiscent of the Bad Boys II “you ever had sex with a man” scene that I laughed fully out loud at in the theater. Had nowhere else in this review to put that little nugget.