From the “Avenger Initiative” to the White Wolf, Marvel has grown with us all. It has been an integral part of our lives for the last 10 years (if it hasn’t been for you, I still very much appreciate your viewership). 10 years and 18 movies in, there has not been one MCU movie that has been anything less than good. But just like all great things, we must find out what is the best. We also have this innate need to debate the hell out of everything. So, let us start some more debates as I present the DEFINITIVE ranking of Marvel Studio’s first 10 years. I just watched all of them again over the last 2 months, so I should know what I am talking about. Let me know what you think as I go play some Galaga.
#18: THE INCREDIBLE HULK
-This movie is not bad. It just isn’t great. They did well in overviewing the origin in the opening credits because when this came out there was definitely Hulk fatigue after that disaster of an Ang Lee film. Also, Edward Norton does an admirable Bruce Banner. But I think what makes this fall flat is how boring it is between the amazing action sequences. Half the movie is no dialogue, tragic music in the background, sweeping location shots, Norton looking like a sad puppy (or yelling at lightning) and Liv Tyler breathing heavily through her dialogue. It also started the hit-or-miss trend that is Marvel’s “final boss is an evil version of our hero” ending. That scene was great, William Hurt is excellent as General Ross, and Tim Roth is menacing as Emil Blonsky, but everything else is forgettable. Except the fact that they broke Harlem.
Best Scene: Hulk on the Culver University Campus
Best Character Not Named Banner: Tim Roth as Emil Blonsky (not as the Abomination)
Post-ish Credit: Tony tells General Ross that “they’re getting a team together”
#17: IRON MAN 2
-This is basically the MCU’s version of Justin Hammer. On the surface, everything is flashy and seems successful, but there isn’t any real substance underneath. Robert Downey Jr. is still the embodiment of Tony Stark. Don Cheadle does exceptional making Rhodey’s friendship (and babysitting) of Stark believable. Fans would have accepted this rendition as perfectly acceptable if this was the first time we saw War Machine (but it wasn't). Gwyneth Paltrow is given much more to do as Pepper, and begins a great arc over multiple films. Mickey Rourke is frightening and intelligent, and probably could have killed Stark if he ever faced Iron Man solo. Sam Rockwell is hilariously excellent as the always second, trying-too-hard adversary to Tony. What makes this movie subpar is that the performances had to carry the dead weight of the narrative. I always forget between viewings that Stark is dying, scenes like Tony’s birthday party are cringe-worthy attempts at desperation and pity, and the revenge plotline for Rourke’s Vanko was a romanticized version of something that could have been way more impactful. This glamorization is epitomized by how every other appearance of Romanoff and Fury in the MCU make Iron Man 2’s portrayals of these characters seem like failed test runs.
Best Scene: Senate Hearing with Larry Sanders (RIP)
Best Character Not Named Tony: Don Cheadle’s James Rhodes gets better every time I watch him
Post Credit: “Meow Meow” in New Mexico
#16: THOR: THE DARK WORLD
-Has there ever been a less memorable villain than Malekith or a less convincing romance than Jane and Thor? No, probably not. Thor: The Dark World is basically the equivalent of both of these unmemorable character choices. Still, this is a second glimpse into Hemsworth’s great comedic timing, Hiddleston does some of his best dramatic Loki work after Frigga’s death (she whooped on Malekith btw), and the underutilized Hopkins and Elba are fantastic when they appear on screen. There is fun to be had in this movie, and I liked it better than the original when I first saw it. But the more I watched, the less I remembered from it. The scenes I do remember involve a Chris Evans cameo, Mjolnir flying in and out of dimensions, and Loki. The rest of it is a blur. A very unmemorable blur that I enjoyed when I watched it then forgot when it was done. Soooo, next!
Best Scene: Loki shapeshifting while talking to Thor as they try to escape
Best Character Not Named Thor or Loki: Anthony Hopkins’ Odin showed out in all of his AllFatherness
Post Credit: “One Down, five to go” – The Collector and Thor Returns to watch a dog chase birds
#15: GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, VOLUME 2
-I was sooooooooo disappointed with this damn movie. Like numbers 17-15, Guardians Volume 2 is not a bad movie. But it could have been so much damn better. There was so much damn potential to build upon in an amazing first volume. It just tried too damn hard to be as funny as the first. Drax’s character completely abandoned his vengeance storyline and became just a literal damn punchline. It instead focused on Gamora and Nebula’s relationship. It worked at times, but then they started yelling at each other too damn much. These two faults made the movie too damn corny and too damn overdramatic (how you do that simultaneously, I don’t know). Kurt Russell as Ego, and his relationship with Chris Pratt’s Star-Lord was another great building block. It was too damn…well, that storyline was pretty damn good actually. Baby Groot was also pretty damn cute. Hmm? There were some things that are actually DAMN good. Most (if not all) of them revolve around Yondu. His entire arc was a damn masterpiece. Perfect emotion, perfect laughs, perfect father-son themes. Michael Rooker’s perfect performance enhanced (and was enhanced by) the greatness of Rocket & Groot and the biggest damn surprise of the movie, Sean Gunn’s Kraglin. In the end, Volume 2 effectively mimics its predecessor’s “I will make you laugh and cry” tactic, but maybe a bit too heavily on the laughter. DAMNIT!!!
Best Scene: Rocket, Groot, Kraglin, and Yondu's escape
Best Character Not Named Star-Lord, Gamora, Drax, Rocket or Groot: Michael Rooker’s Yondu is Mary Poppins Y’all
Post Credit: Kraglin is screwed and the OG Guardians and teenagers suck and Stan Lee’s real character and ADAM!!
#14: IRON MAN 3
-Youuuuu’ll never seeeeee me coming. This line gave me chills in the trailer and in the first ten minutes of the movie. Ben Kingsley was lining up to be a memorable villain after handing Tony his ass on a 10-foot stuffed bunny-sized platter. Then came Trevor Slattery. The very divisive, but fairly hilarious British character actor. Whether you thought it a waste of a possibly Loki-like new villain or a brilliant risk, this turn is the most daring twist in recent movie history. All that aside, Iron Man 3 is very entertaining and has the best action sequences of the trilogy. The house party protocol is what geeks' dreams are made of. The PTSD storyline for Tony generated the most vulnerability and humanization of Tony since the cave. Also, the extra bits of humor almost always hit (“honestly, I hate working here, they are so weird”). But Aldrich Killian is the stereotypical spurned nerd turned playboy (who... breaths... fire… -_-), and I can’t figure out if Harley is the charming or annoying kid sidekick. Aside from the Mandarin twist, the house party, and the very tense skydiving rescue, Iron Man 3 was a fairly paint-by-numbers MCU film. Making it a pretty damn good movie, but lower tier compared to the rest of the list.
Best Scene: House Party Protocol
Best Character Not Named Tony: Ben Kingsley’s Mandarin is as menacing as Ben Kingsley’s Trevor is hysterical
Post Credit: Bruce is not that kind of doctor
#13: THOR
-Director Kenneth Branaugh brings his patented Shakespearean grandiosity to this movie, to the slight disappointment of some. But if there were a character to do this with (at least at first), it would be Thor. Yet every time I watch this movie again, I am reminded how absolutely hilarious it is. Watching Hemsworth try to navigate the human realm for the first time gives the first glimpses of the comedic aptitude he honed by Ragnarok. Yet and still, the grand gestures, ostentatious proclamations, and sophisticated dialogue in this movie sometimes seemed as forced as some of the vocabulary I used in this sentence. Sometimes. With actors like Anthony Hopkins, Rene Russo, and the murderously underused Idris Elba, the weightiness is backed up by great performances. There is not as much action in this movie, but the action scenes we do get are magnificent (the first time we see Mjolnir in action is a thing of beauty). The storyline is a well-executed family drama, and we get the (second?) best MCU villain ever. Thor was Marvel’s first foray into showcasing one of their less-familiar characters as worthy of a standalone film, and it was a highly successful venture.
Best Scene: Battle on Jotunheim
Best Character Not Named Thor: Tom Hiddleston is a household name now because of Loki
Post Credit: The Tesseract Is introduced to Selwig/Loki
This division officially splits the good to pretty good movies from the pretty great to amazing movies
#12: DOCTOR STRANGE
-Dr. Strange, a.k.a. the MCU’s Inception, is a visual feat like never seen before (except maybe in Inception, lol). Usually, when a review starts off by talking about the visual and/or sound elements it means that the plot isn’t up to par. Yet similarly to A Quiet Place’s auditory feats, the visuals in Doctor Strange add to the story. After Guardians of the Galaxy’s success, Marvel allowed itself to take many more risks. The mystic universe that is essential to Strange’s story would not translate as well as it does without the movie’s visual accomplishments. What I do have trouble with is the movie’s first act, everything up until he gets kicked out of Kamar-Taj. Cumberbatch and McAdams play their roles as well as they can (which is very well), but the story had been seen many times before. Once we get past the intro, fall and resurgence of the arrogant Stephen Strange, we get something much more refreshing. The inclusion of Chiwetel Ojiafor (as Mordo), Tilda Swinton (however you feel about her being the Ancient One) and especially Benedict Wong (as Wong) allow for an oft-seen story to manifest as something extremely entertaining. The longer you live with the growth of Strange’s arc, the more you see why the first act’s narrative decisions were necessary. The movie did well to highlight that he could quickly excel at anything academic and intellectual, but made him struggle with the physical aspects of the arts. Strange often had to be saved by his friends (and relics) when in a physical or mystical fight, and that enhanced the overall journey he takes. The movie’s overall payoff justifies the missteps seen in the beginning. Plus, it’s probably the coolest way I have ever seen a villain get defeated. Not Kaecilius, whom I also have conflicted feelings about, but Dormammu. That scene sums up the entertainment and creativity you get in Doctor Strange.
Best Scene: Dormammu…Dormammu…Dormammu…Dormammu…Dormammu…Dormammu…Dormammu…Dor…
Best Character Not Named Strange: The Cloak of Levitation’s great sense of humor. Just like Benedict Wong’s Wong.
Post Credit: We see what’s happening while Loki falls for 30 minutes, & after Mordo’s disgust with the violation of natural law