*WARNING-THIS RUVIEW MAY HAVE SLIGHT SPOILERS THAT YOU MAY NOT WANT TO KNOW ABOUT*
One of my favorite birthday/Christmas presents I have ever received is when I got the box sets of my three absolute favorite movie franchises (actual franchises by name, and not shared universes). Those three sets are Lord of The Rings, Harry Potter, and Oceans. There are legit times where I favor the Oceans trilogy over the other two. I even loved 12 (yes, LOVED!). So, when I heard about the all-female Ocean’s 8 AND the casting behind I was GEEKED. Then months go by, and June 1st comes around, and I am wondering WHERE THE HELL IS THE MARKETING FOR OCEANS??????? It’s one of the most successful franchises ever with a star-studded cast adding an even more star-studded female counterpart and it doesn’t look like that other remake they made a few years ago thatwe won’t mention. Why am I not seeing any damn trailers for it, like, anywhere??? Then I saw the movie…
Ocean’s 8 follows the Danny Ocean’s sister Debbie (Sandra Bullock) just as she is leaving prison and putting together a crew to pull off a huge heist at New York City’s yearly Met Gala. She pulls the likes of Cate Blanchett (Lou), Helena Bonham Carter (Rose), Mindy Kaling (Amita), Rihanna (9 Ball), Awkwafina (Constance), and Sarah Paulson (Tammy) to steal a crown of a jewel necklace off the bodice of Anne Hathaway’s Daphne Kluger. Director Gary Ross put together a stack of talent to try to recapture the magic of the Steven Soderbergh remake. Sandra Bulluck matches Clooney’s charisma, and Blanchett plays just as well off of her as Brad Pitt did as Dusty. Luckily, the cast was not a replica of the heist-crew tropes from the original franchise. Unluckily, that seemed to be the only part where 8 didn’t come off as trying really hard to be like its predecessor
The first third of the movie is almost a carbon copy of 11. They pulled at least three plot points from the original and plopped it into this one. The movie starts off with Debbie (just like her brother Danny) speaking to her parole board on why she deserves a second chance in the outside world. It goes straight into Debbie/Danny finding Lou/Dusty to pull off the "heist of the random temporal measurement". We get through the recruitment montage and end with Debbie doubting, and subsequently being impressed by, the abilities of last recruit Constance. Just like Danny doubting, and subsequently being impressed by, the abilities of last recruit Yen (maybe the Ocean siblings have something against Asian people). Then, Lou finds out Debbie’s ulterior personal motive in planning this heist. As if she saw Rusty confront Danny about the exact same thing 17 years ago. By this point in the movie, if things didn't change, then you would be counting down the scenes until the ladies show up in SWAT uniforms (that's how 11 ends fyi).
After these three “references” to the original, the 2nd third of the movie starts to move a bit more into its own. Yet, with all the talent that the movie amassed, and the entertainment gathered by working through the heist set-up, the movie still managed to be boring. The con happened and then it was over. There were no mess ups, there were no wrenches thrown in, the ladies knew what to do, when to do it, and how exactly to do it to make things go in their favor. It was easy and lackluster. The obligatory Ocean’s end-of-con twist wasn’t spectacular. And Anne Hathaway as the mark didn’t help either. Andy Garcia, Vincent Cassell, and Al Pacino enhanced 11, 12, & 13 with a menacing charm that conflicted audiences’ allegiance to the crew. With Hathaway, it was as if the writers heard every irrational bit of hatred that gets thrown at Hathaway for no reason and embodied it in her character. So, those who don’t like the actress now will unreasonably hate her even more.
That’s not to say she didn’t do an amazing job in her role. All of the actresses and actors shined in their individual parts. Bonham Carter was an endearing wreck. Paulson and Kaling were both hilarious as the tired mom and exasperated daughter who want to escape their lives. Awkwafina and Rihanna were scene-stealing in their underutilized roles. Moreover, the shining light of the movie was the relationship between Bullock and Blanchett. The two of them together had even more chemistry than the Clooney/Pitt bromance, even to the point where I wondered if they were an actual couple in every sense except the romantic. The two of them together could carry an Ocean’s 2 movie. These actresses’ performances help push through the first two acts’ obscurity until the last act finally brings something new to the table. Carried mainly by a surprisingly refreshing James Corden appearance, the last third is what the rest of the movie should have been: a story with its own purpose, giving the ladies their own voice while still paying homage to the tone of the original franchise. Instead, Ocean’s 8 ended up being a fun, yet forgettable, story trying slightly too had hard to hang off the coattails of big brother. Maybe my love for the trilogy gave me too high expectations. Maybe audiences without that predisposition will enjoy it more (to the tone of a $41 million opening weekend). Either way, I give Ocean’s 8 6.5/10 questions about what the hell happened to Danny. And a possible +1 if the next one (which I still hope happens) gives us an answer