Hmm. I been talking about John Wick a lot lately. Anywhoooooo, the idea of the Continental hotel in that movie was so interesting that a new television show is being produced based solely on the bed and breakfast for bad guys. Writer/Director Drew Pearce was either really upset when he saw John Wick or really influenced, because his new movie Hotel Artemis takes basically the same concept and puts it into movie form. Hotel Artemis takes place in 2028 Los Angeles amidst the largest riots in the city’s history. The Hotel is a subscribe-to-stay hospital for criminals to get stitched up away from prying eyes. Basic Rules: No Guns. No Cops. No Killing Other Patients. But unfortunately for The Nurse (Jodie Foster) who runs Artemis, it is not a typical Wednesday.
Weirdly, the first thing I thought of while watching Hotel Artemis is the cult comedy classic Clue. The Tim Curry crime mystery based on the board game is nothing but frenetic, fun energy with an amazing ensemble cast and a fast-paced plot, especially when you can watch every alternate ending back-to-back-to-back. Hotel Artemis takes the excitement and tension of Clue’s ending and employs it
from the get go. The pacing does not let up from five minutes in, and you may not breathe again until the credits roll. It is violent, riveting, and has just the right amount of humor. The main characters all go by aliases and, aside from Foster, none of them are given much of any backstory. The plot is put together through each character’s separate storyline with the Hotel as the connecting tissue running through them. These choices fit perfectly with the tone as they push forward the breakneck pace established early.
There are a few times during the film that the dialogue takes the viewer out of its energetic enthrall. At times, the movie tried to throw in more “serious” conversations between characters, and at others the conversations fell into the gratuitously profane. But the majority of the film balanced itself between these two extremes due to the great work done by its actors. Even though you don’t know the names or backstories of most of the characters, their charm makes you invested in them... For the most part. Charlie Day (Acapulco) and Zachary Quinto (Crosby) are the key culprits of the aforementioned pace-killing dialogue, and with his Pacific Rim 2 performance I am formally requesting that we get Charlie Day the hell out of here. Stick to It’s Always Sunny, please. I am also requesting that we get Dave Bautista (Everest) and Sterling K. Brown (Sherman/Waikiki) more and more roles. Both of these actors were electric on screen, especially Bautista. this role is beginning to show his ability to carry a scene both comedically and dramatically. perhaps even better than his gravelly counterpart. Then there’s Foster, Jeff Goldblum (The Wolf King) and Sofia Boutella (Nice). All three of them do what they always do: act her ass off, charm his ass off, and fight her ass off. They all seemed to have a lot of fun filming together, and that emanates off the screen.
In all, Hotel Artemis is the epitome of popcorn summer entertainment and allows its negatives to be brushed off as quickly as the actors speak them. Great action, gloriously bloody (but not gratuitous) violence, and charismatic performances brings Hotel Artemis to a very solid 7.5/10 buckets of popcorn in a movie theater at any matinee showing in order to gleefully pass a lazy weekend afternoon. enjoy